


Verse Two

by TheWorldIsYou13



Series: The 'Run' Collection [2]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Songfic, Talking, The Doctor is finally being somewhat slightly honest with Rose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-26 00:26:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16208849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWorldIsYou13/pseuds/TheWorldIsYou13
Summary: ...so we lay in the dark...we got nothing to say...just the beating of hearts...like two drums in the grey...Follows on from Verse One





	Verse Two

**Author's Note:**

> Well, hello again. It's been a while since I last posted anything. I'm back at Uni, though I'm in Norway this year rather than England and am currently typing from Oslo, so things are a little stressful for me right now.
> 
> Anyway, this is the first half of the second verse of the song 'Run'. I want to do the second half at some point as well, but don't know whether to put it up as a second chapter to this or a completely different story. I'll work it out when I get round to writing it.
> 
> I hope you like this one, it picks up where the first one leaves of...just a bit later. 
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I own nothing

****

Verse 2

_so we lay in the dark_  
we got nothing to say  
just the beating of hearts  
like two drums in the grey

\- 'Run' - Daughter (2012)

* * *

Since she had fallen asleep with him curled up beside her, Rose had seen nothing of the Doctor. He had left his room long before she had awoken and she could find no sign of him within their usual places on the ship.

She had quickly realised that he hadn’t gone anywhere outside since the TARDIS hadn’t landed anywhere since their last outing the day before, which meant he was somewhere onboard the ship and, because she had seen nothing signalling his presence, Rose came to the assumption that he did not want to be found.

An assumption that Rose was doing her upmost to ignore.

After the state she had found him in the night before there was no way she was letting him get out of this one. She wanted – needed – to make sure he was okay. But considering how much he seemed to want to keep his distance lately, despite how much she wanted him to talk to her, she highly doubted that he would.

Maybe she could ask him about that, however; about why he seemed to distance himself from her. as far as she was aware, she hadn’t done anything wrong. There seemed no obvious reason for the Doctor’s slightly strange behaviour of late. If only she knew where he was.

She found him some time later, thanks to help from the TARDIS. Rose’s connection was nothing like that of the Doctor’s, but it was deep enough for the ship to be able to help her whenever she wanted.

He was in the TARDIS garden, laying on his back in the deep red grass, looking up at the projected night sky. He hadn’t noticed her walk up to him; too deep in thought to register her presence.

Not wanting to disrupt him too much, Rose said nothing as she lay down next to him in the grass, turning her head to look at him. She knew he knew she was there, but he hadn’t yet looked in her direction, choosing to focus on the images of stars above him.

Rose did the same, turning her head to look upwards. The stars were as realistic as the ones she had seen on an almost daily basis. She wasn’t sure which part of the universe she was looking at, but, even to the untrained eye, it was clear to tell that the stars she was looking at were not the ones that were visible from the skies of planet Earth.

“It’s the view of the stars from back home,” the Doctor quietly told her, bringing her out of her thoughts and disrupting the silence. Rose chose not to say anything back, instead looking at him, afraid that, if she were to speak, the spell would be broken and the Doctor would lapse back into silence.

“Back on Gallifrey, when it was dark, I would often lay on the grass in the grounds of the Academy and look up at the stars. Always wondering what it would feel like to travel among them one day. I always dreamt of leaving. Dreamt of leaving and not returning for anything. Didn’t work out that way, of course, and now,” he grew silent for a moment. “Now I would give anything just to see that planet again. My home.”

“I’m sorry,” Rose whispered, not knowing what else she could say, but she felt as though she couldn’t stay completely silent any longer.

“I know,” the Doctor whispered back, still not turning to look at her.

A moment of silence passed once more. The two of them lay there looking up at the stars that the TARDIS was showing them. Rose wanted to ask the Doctor if he was okay, it wasn’t usual for him to act this way of such a length of time, and she was worried.

In the end, she didn’t have to say anything. To her surprise the Doctor spoke, turning for the first time to face her.

“I almost lost you,” he said simply. His eyes said more, however; a cocktail of emotions that Rose could barely make out, but she could see regret, sorrow and worry amongst others she couldn’t name.

“But I’m still here, I’m not going anywhere,” she replied. As convincing as she was trying to be, she knew that the Doctor didn’t believe her.

“This time, yes,” he said. “But what about the next time? Or the time after that?” Rose couldn’t think of what to say to that. “I’ve almost lost you before, but never like this. When I was down in that pit, I honestly thought that I would never see you again. I thought I would die on that planet, and I thought you would fall into the black hole.” He turned back to look at the sky once more. “I was the one who made you lose the gravity funnel,” he admitted. “I couldn’t let the Beast escape. Couldn’t let his mind go back to Earth. I was prepared to sacrifice you in order to achieve that. If I hadn’t had found the TARDIS…” he trailed off, he didn’t need to complete what he was trying to say, there was no need.

Rose continued to look at him, trying to find the right words to say. She knew that the Doctor had done all he could, and she never once blamed him for what he had had to do in order to save the rest of the universe.

“Doctor, look at me,” she told him. He didn’t move. “Doctor, please.”

Slowly, he turned to look at her. He could see in her eyes what she was about to say to him, it was what she always said to him when he felt this way or blamed himself for what had happened. It was always the same. For a life like theirs that was full of adventure and unpredictable moments, there were the small things that never changed. She would say that she didn’t blame him and that he had done everything that he could have; that she knew traveling with him often came at a price and, one day, that price might be her own life. And he would say nothing, until he quietly promised her to stop blaming himself, but knowing, deep down, that he always would. He knew she knew it, too. Sometimes, he wondered if she said these words for her own benefit as well as his; trying to make herself believe that his actions were always for the greater cause and that he wasn’t just reckless and unthoughtful. Maybe, he would never know. Maybe, she would never know.

But those words passed between them as they always did, and once they were over, the two of them continued to lay on the grass in silence, the lights now dimmed in the pretence of dusk.

“You don’t believe me, do you?” Rose’s voice was barely above a whisper, but through the silence it couldn’t have felt louder. “I tell you all the time how I’m never going to leave you, but you don’t believe me.”

This time, the Doctor turned to look at her while Rose continued to look at the sky.

“Rose…” he replied softly. Rose turned to look at him. “It’s not that I don’t believe you, it’s…” he trailed off, unsure of how to finish. Did he believe her? He’d like to, but that wasn’t the same as believing her. “One day, you will leave. Whether you want to or not. And no doubt it will be my fault, somehow. It’s how it always works. People promise me they won’t leave, but they always do,” he took a breath before continuing. “I want to believe that you won’t leave; I want to believe you when you say that you’ll be with me for your forever, but I know that can’t happen. Someday, probably not so far from now really, I’ll have to say goodbye. And every time that I nearly lose you in some way just reminds me of what will inevitably happen. And…I’m not ready for that, not yet.”

The Doctor looked down from Rose’s eyes, unable to look at her anymore. The urge to run was just as strong now as it had always been. He felt like he needed to get away, to run from the way he was feeling. He had never been so brutally honest with her and he was scared about what they might mean. He was worried that he might have pushed her away too far. That, by being honest with her, meant that her time with him would become significantly shorter.

But a hand slid in his and kept him grounded. He looked at their conjoined hands in between them on the grass.

“Listen to me,” Rose told him. “I promise you, I’m not going anywhere, not by choice. I made my choice as soon as I came away with you. I can’t go back to living on Earth, I’d feel lost now. I’ve been with you for long enough to know that this is the life I want. I know one day I will leave, yes, but it won’t be because I want to and, with everything I am, I hope that it’s not soon. I promise that I will do my best to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” the Doctor told her.

“I’m not,” she moved closer to him, keeping his hand firmly within her own. “And I’ll prove it to you,” she paused for a second and looked the Doctor in the eye. “If this is too much for you, then push me away, I promise I’ll understand, but I need you to know just how much I am willing to keep my promise.”

The Doctor said nothing in return, and Rose, not receiving any resistance, moved as close as she could and gently pressed her lips against his.

He knew that he should be pushing her away, after all she had told him to do so if he needed to, but the Doctor found that he was powerless to do anything as Rose kissed him. His mind was working overtime and there were so many thoughts running through his head that he couldn’t make sense of any of them.

Eventually, Rose started to pull away, and suddenly the Doctor’s instincts kicked in. He knew it was wrong, he knew he should just let her end this and pretend like nothing happened, but it was also what he had always wanted. There was no denying that he felt more for Rose than he knew he should. If the Time Lords were still around they would be frowning down at him now, but he didn’t care. In many other ways, this felt right, like it was always meant to be.

For once in his life, the Doctor let down his walls and tried to forget about what this could mean in the long run.

The kiss was chaste and gentle, and ended sooner than either of them would have liked. When it was over the two of them looked at each other, neither knowing what to say to the other.

“Do you believe me now?” Rose asked, and the Doctor could do nothing other than nod gently. For a moment he wasn’t sure what he was nodding about, but then quickly remembered the conversation that had sparked this turn of events. Maybe he did believe her now. He certainly started to believe more that she wouldn’t leave him now on her own accord, but there was still a nagging sense of doubt that was trying to tell him otherwise. For once he decided to ignore it.

“Good,” Rose said with a smile before leaning in and kissing him again.

The Doctor responded quicker this time and instantly deepened the kiss.

Whatever happened now was purely based on instinct, pure desire, and ignorant wishes of living in a perfect universe. They would deal with the repercussions of such actions when the time came. For now, the future didn’t matter. It was solely about the living in the present.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Run - Daughter  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psiILfa-G1c


End file.
